It's That Time Again...

...when we celebrate...well, depends where you are in life, I guess.

Usually folks celebrate love, but there is an offshoot that's not quite as romantic:

That's pretty much every day on social media.

For the traditionalists among us, history says St. Valentine lost his head - literally - for officiating secret marriage ceremonies in ancient Rome.

Why secret?  Because Claudius the Cruel...

...had outlawed marriage so men would become soldiers willing to die for their country, instead of lovesick little puppies cuddling at home with their wives.

When St. Valentine's clandestine activities came to light, he was "...beaten to death with clubs and his head cut off".

So, yeah...Happy Valentine's Day; don't forget the roses lest your fate mirror that of our unfortunate saint.

And in the 2-fer-1 department, it's also <Pale Blue Dot> day.

Please do some good with your time topside of God's PBD.

He made it with us in mind.

It's a tired refrain by now...

...but "Who Let The DOGE Out?"  

#3 son was a senior in high school when "Who Let The Dogs Out" by the Baha Men had its brief time in the sun.

It was stupid then and today's political brouhaha over DOGE is even dumber.

Elon & Co are doing amazing work exposing fraud and saving taxpayer money, but democrats are screaming bloody murder while humiliating themselves in the process with some truly horrendous folk singing.

Please, I beg you, do NOT <click here>.

Why would anyone oppose rooting out waste and fraud from our government, unless...

...they were benefiting from all that waste and fraud?

As Elon Musk noted there are many federal workers making around $200k per year with a net worth in the tens of millions.

Kickback much?

Stay tuned; the forecast calls for a rapid increase in the kicking of posteriors accompanied by widespread taking of names.

If February could just move a lee-tle bit slower...

...we might actually achieve a complete break in the space-time continuum.

Just like the song, this is the month that never ends, it just goes on and on my friend...

...and no need to thank me; ear worms are provided at no extra charge.

They're one of the many perqs of this interminable month, along with cabin fever, ennui, lethargy and the uncontrollable urge to...um...well, never mind.

You know how some people can't take the hint when the party's over, it's time to call it a day, they've burst your pretty balloon and taken the moon away?

Yeah, well that's not me.  This party is definitely over, so let's mount up and 23 Skidoo:

After he lost the big game and she was booed for the 1st time in her career, T&T ditched the spotlight and settled into a sedate middle class existence somewhere in suburbia.

as february drags on, a helpful reminder of your current estate

Loki, king of all he surveys

need to replace the transmitter in my candlestick phone...

...and swap out the metal ringer box with a period correct wooden one.

not a fan of flying anymore, but definitely would have loved flying in a Pan Am Clipper back in the day

at least he doesn't eat them

I'm at that age where I can't afford to wish too much time away, but mercy, is this winter ever dragging by in slow motion.

Yeah, like that.

Even so, wisdom stipulates we needs must make the most of whatever time we're given:

 

15 See then that ye walk circumspectly, not as fools, but as wise,
16 Redeeming the time, because the days are evil.

    - Ephesians chapter 5

later, mcm fans...

According To The Babylon Bee...

...democrats are warning that Trump's unelected shadow government is totally dismantling the democrats unelected shadow government.

They really do not like Elon...

...and his volunteer army of AI nerds.

The amount of fraud and waste within USAID that's finally coming to light is staggering, running into the billions of TAXPAYER dollars squandered.

and the list goes on and on and on...the tip of a VERY large iceberg

That they’re squealing like stuck pigs is no surprise.

They’ve been sledgehammered by DOGE and their jig is finally up.

But it won't be just the dems caught with their slimy mitts in the cookie jar; republicans are just as dirty as will soon come to light.

Now when these crooks go to bed at night, instead of sugarplums they have visions of <Bob "Gold Bar" Menendez> -

can you say "11 years"?

- behind bars, wearing an orange jumpsuit - dancing in their heads.

It's nigh onto certain some of them will be joining Gold Bar's Prison Chorus Line before too long.

But this is just USAID...think of all the other departments of government that spend our money.

What are the odds DOGE will uncover more rampant waste and fraud in medicare, education, the pentagon, the IRS, etc?

And the more the opposition rages, the more you know you're over the target.

The truly pathetic thing?

This is the first time anyone has ever seriously attempted to cut the size of our bloated government, and of course it wasn't a politician who did it.

But then it wasn't a candlemaker who invented the electric light bulb, was it?

An outsider did that.

So it was left to Trump, the despised outsider -

- to start the dirty work of cleaning up this deeply entrenched, institutionalized cesspool.

Does Permanent Washington truly believe everything they are and do is absolutely essential with zero chance for improved efficiency?

Of course not; they're arrogant grade A grifters but they're not stupid.

They're simply riding the gravy train, loving it, and don't want the unwitting dupes who finance them - that would be us - to ever stop.

Now, like insects under a rock, they're panicking once exposed to daylight.

Let 'em scream.  DOGE is saving OUR money, rooting out corruption, and helping to return us to fiscal sanity.

If you ever wondered how a regular citizen can go to Washington as a member of congress - average tenure: 10 years - and exit government employment as a multi-millionaire, now you know.

Maybe - just maybe - we'll actually clean out the swamp and return this country...

...to the principles of its founding.

Are you as excited as I am?

It's time for the Stupor Bowl!

No...no wait a minute here, I'm wrong.  That's the <Dust Bowl>, circa 1934.  Different thing altogether.

Lessee...ah, here we go:

I assume #29 running with the ball is that Taylor Swift fella I've heard so much about

However, as Bugs Bunny used to inquire...

What's all the hubbub, Bub?

Sorry, this one doesn't move the needle on my give-a-crap-o-meter, even though Karen plans to make some snacks and tune in for the commercials.

For my part, I'm far more interested in the biggest sporting event of the year!

the infamous par 3, 16th hole in front of the grandstands

Let's be honest: anything with "waste management" in its name is automatically disqualified from being the biggest sporting event of any year.

Even so, it is golf - not hickory, sadly -

Harry Vardon winning his record 6th British Open in 1914 at age 44

- but still golf and it is impressive watching what the best in the world can do.

With snow everywhere and temps below freezing, I'll be watching, wishing and <waiting for Spring>.

And who knows?

After that I might even have some chicken tenders with hot mustard sauce while whoever they are does whatever they do Sunday evening.

Enough of that; I say we drop everything and 23 Skidoo.

See ya in the funny pages, kiddo:

AI think, therefore AI am

my kinda holiday

I've arrived at the age where this could work

sound advice

this is pretty much how congress works

1920s humor

Given the current headlines, this encouragement from God's Word seems cogent:

Wouldn't it be nice to see justice done for a change?

later, mcm fans...

In My Continuing Quest...

 

...to neuter the dystopian present....get a load of this:

For detailed info <click here>

The black cord is power, the brown cord goes to my 1927 Western Electric 102B1 rotary phone, and after pairing Xlink with my iPhone via bluetooth, voila:

All incoming / outgoing calls on my cell phone are now handled by my rotary phone.

If you're baffled by this, wondering "what the heck is wrong with this guy?", please to consider:

*  you're not alone; I get that a lot -

*  who do you think would win a beauty contest: my gorgeous 1927 classic or your boring black rectangle?  and finally -

*  I'm vintage and love vintage things - hickory golf, old phones, antique TVs and radios, retro toys, classic cars, etc.

An ironclad axiom:

Deal with it.

Don't care what anyone says - for less than $50, this is très cool.

Love my antique phones, and am now happily using them (there are several that get swapped out from time to time)...

circa 1910 candlestick phone

 

...for the purpose they were intended: communication.

And yes, I'm dialing 10 digit phone numbers, not looking at a name in my contacts and tapping it.

Hey, it's a rotary phone; you dial them.

C'mon, join the resistance and give it a try!

You're not chicken, are ya?

never actually thought of a chicken as a pet until this moment

A year ago the Detroit Lions played in the NFC championship game -

- and lost.

Still mystified how that happened, as I did everything right that day, including (but not limited to) wearing these:

In spite of my best efforts, the universe remained unimpressed, so no Super Bowl appearance for the beleaguered Lions.

This season - well, this season they didn't even make it to the NFC championship game, in spite of a franchise record 15 win regular season and being the #1 seed.

Inexplicable since - remembering last year - I did NOT wear my lion slippers, figuring the universe was angry with my arrogant display of blatant Lions bias.

As if dealing with the insouciance of the cosmos wasn't enough...

...must we now also endure the indignity of insult added to injury?

Because let's face it, there's no accountin' for taste when it comes to the universe's choice of football teams.

Super Bowl (insert large roman numeral here) will feature the Liberal Bubble Girls from Kansas City...

I don't follow KC football so don't know who "Taylor Swift" is, but he sounds fast

...vs the Dirty Birds from Philadelphia:

if you ever need to be cursed at and <called sexually vulgar names>, these fans have your back.  their old stadium had a courtroom and jail cells in the basement, so 'nuff said.

Who's gonna win?

Well, my friend Larry from work sent me a pic of the NFL's new ref uniforms for this year's game...

...so your guess is as good as mine.

Either way, I don't have a dog in this hunt and probably won't watch...but might tune in for the commercials.

Maybe.

And speaking of Larry, he suggested we should each buy one of these so we could stretch their legs on Sunday drives:

Now that's very retro cool.

It's a <BossHoss '57 Chevy trike> with an 8 cylinder engine, so top speed is a lot faster than I'll ever go and pricing starts at $65k.

Ultra cool but uber pricey.

After careful consideration, I think this is probably more my speed:

Gotta love a classic Vespa with a sidecar, and chicks are absolutely wild for 'em.

he: "Hop in baby!  Lemme take you for a ride..."

she: "Um...do I know you?"

he: "Well, I uh..."

she: "You know what?  Never mind; you look harmless and you're cheaper than a taxi.

"You can start by taking me to the pharmacy for <mommy's little helpers>, then be a dear and trundle me over to Piggly Wiggly, ok hon?

"I'll get a few groceries and some Spam to fry up for lunch.

"If you mix it with crushed bread crumbs and use lots of Crisco it's really good with store brand yellow mustard.

"Hey, will everything fit in this dinky little sidecar?  I'm not carrying it all on my lap, you know."

See what I mean?  Wild...

Larry recommended we use the appropriate headgear:

More retro cool vibes and you're gonna need those goggles tooling along at 30 mph.

But if we're going to start a Vespa scooter gang that terrorizes local wading pools, we'll need some kind of symbol that captures the true essence of our threatening male libidos:

yo, represent!

Nothing evokes an aura of danger and adventure quite like a plastic pocket protector.

"Watch it, Buster!  I've got a pen - several of them in fact - and I know how to use them!

"Plus, if any of them leak, the plastic prevents the ink from staining my white shirt.

"Neato, right?"

I can see the young mothers in a panic, frantically gathering up their terrified brood from the wading pool as we roar into view!

wait a minute...that's not a Vespa...

"Oh great, not them again.  C'mon kids, time to go."

"Aw Mom, do we have to?  We can take 'em!"

"I know you can Sweetie, but I don't want you touching them; you might catch something.

"Their skin, it doesn't look healthy..."

I'll quit work, buy some Vitalis...

...a plastic comb to carry in my back pocket and a leather jacket.

Or maybe a used denim blazer from Goodwill - a lot cheaper.  Might look around a bit while I'm there, too...they've got some <supermurgitroid> stuff!

Then me and The Pocket Protectors! will rev up our Vespas and hang out by the bowling alley...

...looking for trouble.

Well, maybe not trouble so much as excitement.

Or even loose change.  I once found a quarter in the cigarette machine...some guy just left it there.

Can you believe that?  What a ninny!

Unfortunately, Karen's already told me she'll never ride in a sidecar, so looks like my plans for Vespa gangbanger glory won't amount to squat.

But hey, I can dream...

...can't I?

What are you waiting for?  Let's 23 Skidoo already:

when even a bottom feeder like CNN fires your sorry hide, you truly are the offscouring of yellow journalism

the party of slavery and hypocrisy strikes again

as we contemplate moving, this is a selling point we want to create in our basement...wine cellar ambiance for the next owners

last round of the season and feels like forever ago, but it's only been 3 months.  only round I've played where I had nothing worse than a bogey.

we've all wanted to at one point or another

the great Jose Capablanca, 4 years old and playing chess with his father in Havana, circa 1892

my idle hickory sticks, taunting me

The interminable winter drags on, but fear not; Spring is on the way:

Oops...wrong kinda Spring.

Guess we'll just have to keep <waiting>.

In the meantime, some encouragement from God's Word:

later, mcm fans...