In My Continuing Quest...

 

...to neuter the dystopian present....get a load of this:

For detailed info <click here>

The white cord plugs into power, the brown cord goes to my 1927 Western Electric 102B1 rotary phone, and after pairing Cell2Jack with my iPhone via bluetooth, voila:

All incoming / outgoing calls on my cell phone are now handled by my rotary phone.

If you're baffled by this, wondering "what the heck is wrong with this guy?", please to consider:

*  you're not alone; I get that a lot -

*  who do you think would win a beauty contest: my gorgeous 1927 classic or your boring black rectangle?  and finally -

*  I'm vintage and love vintage things - hickory golf, old phones, antique TVs and radios, retro toys, classic cars, etc.

An ironclad axiom:

Deal with it.

Don't care what anyone says - for less than $40, this is très cool.

I made a few adjustments once connected: to the speaker and mic volume, and one to cancel an echo people on the other end of the line were hearing when they talked.

However, it seemed like the more I messed with stuff the worse things got, so I reverted cell2jack to its factory settings, and now all is well.

During this process I called #1 son several times, explaining what I was doing and asking him about call quality.

I could tell he was amused by all my machinations -

(this is the son who reminded me during our struggles with our 1956 Philco V-handle refrigerator that "some people like to visit museums, but that doesn't mean they want to live in one")

- so I wasn't surprised when he eventually offered his opinion on my vintage phone adventure:

"You could just answer your cell phone, you know."

He's right of course, I could...and have been for the last 30 years or so.

But not anymore, at least not when I'm at home.

I love my antique phones, and am now happily using them (there are several and I switch them out from time to time)...

circa 1910 candlestick phone

 

...for the purpose they were intended: communication.

And yes, I'm dialing 10 digit phone numbers, not looking at a name in my contacts and tapping it.

Hey, it's a rotary phone; you dial them.

After getting things situated I chatted with the creator of this product and he tells me most of his customers are 60 or older and don't like messing with cell phones.

His product lets them continue using their existing phones rather than the ubiquitous black rectangle surgically attached to most people's palms nowadays.

Doesn't happen to be my issue, but to each their own.

C'mon, join the resistance and give it a try!

You're not chicken, are ya?

never actually thought of a chicken as a pet until this moment

A year ago the Detroit Lions played in the NFC championship game -

- and lost.

Still mystified how that happened, as I did everything right that day, including (but not limited to) wearing these:

In spite of my best efforts, the universe remained unimpressed, so no Super Bowl appearance for the beleaguered Lions.

This season - well, this season they didn't even make it to the NFC championship game, in spite of a franchise record 15 win regular season and being the #1 seed.

Inexplicable since - remembering last year - I did NOT wear my lion slippers, figuring the universe was angry with my arrogant display of blatant Lions bias.

As if dealing with the insouciance of the cosmos wasn't enough...

...must we now also endure the indignity of insult added to injury?

Because let's face it, there's no accountin' for taste when it comes to the universe's choice of football teams.

Super Bowl (insert large roman numeral here) will feature the Liberal Bubble Girls from Kansas City...

I don't follow KC football so don't know who "Taylor Swift" is, but he sounds fast

...vs the Dirty Birds from Philadelphia:

if you ever need to be cursed at and <called sexually vulgar names>, these fans have your back.  their old stadium had a courtroom and jail cells in the basement, so 'nuff said.

Since I can't begin to imagine for whom I'd root, not gonna watch...but might tune in for the commercials.

Maybe.

My friend Larry from work suggested we should each buy one of these so we could stretch their legs on Sunday drives:

Now that's very retro cool.

It's a <BossHoss '57 Chevy trike> with an 8 cylinder engine, so top speed is a lot faster than I'll ever go and pricing starts at $65k.

Ultra cool but uber pricey.

After careful consideration, I think this is probably more my speed:

Gotta love a classic Vespa with a sidecar, and chicks are absolutely wild for 'em.

he: "Hop in baby!  Lemme take you for a ride..."

she: "Um...do I know you?"

he: "Well, I uh..."

she: "You know what?  Never mind; you look harmless and you're cheaper than a taxi.

"You can start by taking me to the pharmacy for <mommy's little helpers>, then be a dear and trundle me over to Piggly Wiggly, ok hon?

"I'll get a few groceries and some Spam to fry up for lunch.

"If you mix it with crushed bread crumbs and use lots of Crisco it's really good with store brand yellow mustard.

"Hey, will everything fit in this dinky little sidecar?  I'm not carrying it all on my lap, you know."

See what I mean?  Wild...

Larry recommended we use the appropriate headgear:

More retro cool vibes and you're gonna need those goggles tooling along at 30 mph.

But if we're going to start a Vespa scooter gang that terrorizes local wading pools, we'll need some kind of symbol that captures the true essence of our threatening male libidos:

represent!

Nothing evokes an aura of danger and adventure quite like a plastic pocket protector.

"Watch it, Buster!  I've got a pen - several of them in fact - and I know how to use them!

"Plus, if any of them leak, the plastic prevents the ink from staining my white shirt.

"Neato, right?"

I can see the young mothers in a panic, frantically gathering up their terrified brood from the wading pool as we roar into view!

wait a minute...that's not a Vespa...

"Oh great, not them again.  C'mon kids, time to go."

"Aw Mom, do we have to?  We can take 'em!"

"I know you can Sweetie, but I don't want you touching them; you might catch something.

"Their skin, it doesn't look healthy..."

I'll quit work, buy some Vitalis...

...a plastic comb to carry in my back pocket and a leather jacket.

Or maybe a used denim blazer from Goodwill - a lot cheaper.  Might look around a bit while I'm there, too...they've got some supermurgitroid stuff!

Then me and The Pocket Protectors! will rev up our Vespas and hang out by the bowling alley...

...looking for trouble.

Well, maybe not trouble so much as excitement.

Or even loose change.  I once found a quarter in the cigarette machine...some guy just left it there.

Can you believe that?  What a ninny!

Unfortunately, Karen's already told me she'll never ride in a sidecar, so looks like my plans for Vespa gangbanger glory won't amount to squat.

But hey, I can dream...

...can't I?

What are you waiting for?  Let's 23 Skidoo already:

when even a bottom feeder like CNN fires your sorry hide, you truly are the offscouring of yellow journalism

the party of slavery and hypocrisy strikes again

as we contemplate moving, this is a selling point we want to create in our basement...wine cellar ambiance for the next owners

last round of the season and feels like forever ago, but it's only been 3 months.  only round I've played where I had nothing worse than a bogey.

we've all wanted to at one point or another

the great Jose Capablanca, 4 years old and playing chess with his father in Havana, circa 1892

my idle hickory sticks, taunting me

The interminable winter drags on, but fear not; Spring is on the way:

Oops...wrong kinda Spring.

Guess we'll just have to keep <waiting>.

In the meantime, some encouragement from God's Word:

later, mcm fans...

The Exact Moment...

Trump inaugural speech, Jan 20 2025

 

...Slo-Joe realized he's no longer prez.  

I'm sure it came as a shock to him; most things do.

Even finding out what day of the week it is surprises Dementia Joe.

"Monday?  Really?  Well I'll be a dog faced pony soldier..."

Interesting to see all those libs dressed to the nines welcoming "Hitler the Fascist Dictator and Threat To Democracy!!" back to Washington.

At least that's what they all screamed in the runup to the election.

You don't suppose they're so morally bankrupt they spewed lies...

...in a desperate attempt to retain power, do you?

Either way, we can rejoice...

...the curtain has finally fallen on 4 tortuous years of constant deceit ("the border's secure!", "inflation is low!", "crime is down!") and abject incompetence.

With America finally back in good hands - Thank you, Lord - how about we move on to something apolitical for a change?

thought you might approve

Here's a fave mid century modern item:

That's an <Austin Cox> chess set from 1962.

These were originally made by the Alcoa Aluminum company and given as executive gifts in the early 1960's; over time they've become a collector's item.

Here's what the pieces look like when set up:

the board that goes with it is stored in a closet and I'm too lazy to retrieve it at the moment

They're obviously unique and really quite elegant.

Years ago I was a casual player but eventually realized I lacked the requisite temperament, time and let's be honest - IQ points - to excel at the game, so I gave it up.

former world champion, antisemite and bona fide looney tunes

True chess players are like musicians; they're born, not made.

Of course anyone can learn the moves, memorize openings, study strategy and end game tactics, and improve their game.

But the great ones have an inborn ability to visualize in a way regular folks do not.

They can play chess without the board or pieces; they see it in their minds and can analyze many moves ahead.

It's why so many of the legends of the game were masters even as children:

8 year old Samuel Reshevsky playing and beating masters in simultaneous games, circa 1920 in Poland

In spite of my lack of talent for the game, I've always admired the beauty and symmetry of a well made chess set, and appreciate the constrained energy its starting formation implies:

Two armies on the brink of chivalrous war, the pieces practically trembling with pent up anxiety, awaiting the call to action.

An interesting story revolving around the game of chess is <The Queen's Gambit>, a Netflix series from 2020.

Based on the 1983 novel of the same name by Walter Tevis...

...this one won't enhance your moral IQ, but it is an interesting look at the passionately obsessive, emotionally violent, high pressure world of championship level chess.

Last "winter" (in quotes because 'twas hard to tell) I was outside swinging my hickories more than all previous winters combined.

Not so this year...winter has reasserted itself with a healthy dose of icy vigor:

driveway's been plowed 5x this week

snowy back yard

a rare evening when it wasn't snowing

the view from my "office" window one morning this week

no judging; we'll remove the Christmas lights when we're good and ready

It's definitely been a Michigan January, and it has me anxiously counting down the <days until Spring>.

You've endured to the bitter end (you didn't cheat and just scroll down, did you?); time to 23 Skidoo:

Ziggy breaks the 4th wall

gorgeous pink sunrise

 
I am forced to reluctantly admit the truth, though I resent the blank, wide eyed stare

not sure the butt crack was necessary...

...though I do think Calvin's "work of art" is better than Duchamp's 1912 original

an unhinged lib (note the channel he watches) accused Musk of giving the Nazi salute, and AOC jumped on it with one of her usual deranged, wide eyed rants

unfortunately for Queen Taradiddle, someone found her giving her own Nazi salute; like her friend above, she's not smart enough to be embarrassed

using dem standards (didn't know they had any, did you?), even Kamala sycophant, Liberal Bubble Girl, is now a member of the Nazi party

finally, BabylonBee did their usual great job of illustrating exactly how pointless and irrelevant the dems have become

It's a new day in America; President Trump hit the ground running with dozens of executive orders...

...reversing Biden's "America Last" policies, righting many wrongs, and making trips to disaster areas that were neglected by FEMA under the failed Biden administration.

His landslide victory indicates most of the people in the country are more than ready for a return to common sense and sanity.

Not everyone, of course...

don't make eye contact and do not engage with the crazy lady

...you know who you are, and so do we.

But even some who consider themselves conservative Christians aren't happy with Trump because of his well documented issues with both language and behavior.

He's not perfect, that's for sure; no one is.

He's also not your pastor.

He's the President of the United States of America, charged with upholding the constitution and safeguarding the citizens of this country.

As such it's worth remembering:

Ultimately, it's God who is in control and Donald Trump's heart is in God's hand.

The LORD will use Trump to achieve His will, in His time.

Our job is to continually pray for him and all those in authority over us (I Timothy 2:1,2).

later, mcm fans...